Petit

Today I started doing something I've been meaning to do for oh, about 6 years. Way back in 2004CE, I started conceiving a concept album of sorts (what a pretentious wanker, I know. ho hum) The loose concept for the album was going to be the "tribulations of love" (what a corny wanker, I know that as well).
That's right. My pretentious corny self of half a decade ago wanted to devise an album that expressed the concept of love in all its ragged, wonderful and often bizarre glory; love in sex and violence; the psychology behind love and devotion, etc... That album was to be called "Petit Morts".
The semi-title track "Petit" was to kick off the album on a mellow note (I like slow-burning album openers). My initial idea was to actually record a sexual act performed by a passionate but romantic couple who are genuinely in love and thus, making love, not just fucking. It had to have some depth, you had to be able to hear the love in the moans, grunts and their wet kisses. I imagined a similar scenario to that in which Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot first recorded "Je T'aime, Moi Non Plus", him making her reach orgasm as the song crescendos toward the end. That version was apparently too sexy for radio, so Serge eventually re-recorded it with Jane Birkin in a more toned-down manner, but still quite sexy. The song became an international hit and many have reported to have conceived their offspring to this piece of music.
This wouldn't be me with my partner as that would be too personal, which I always try and avoid. The work always needs to be taken from a different perspective, as an observer, if you will. I always try to put myself behind the work that I do. It's more interesting that way, but I digress. It would also just make me uncomfortable when listening to it and even more-so when playing it to people. That would almost be like showing them a home made erotic video of one and his partner. And I would also be too shy to ask anyone that I know to perform so I can record it and use it in a piece of music. So I found a porn film on the internet. After much KAK, I found a decent one of a genuine couple, no cheesy soundtrack, copulating passionately. Their performance made me feel like a voyeur, as I recorded the audio onto tape and made the transfer with some processing and mixed it into the track.
Anyway, it would be the start of the record, that which would lay everything on the table, make the concept clear from the start and be explicit about it before the rest of the album comes along and investigates, dissects and analyzes these themes - including all the baggage it comes with and its taboos and grey areas - in the context of an album consisting of music that flows piece by piece, awkward situation by awkward situation in a devotional, dedicated, desperate love and the animal instincts it brings out in oneself.
Or that's my explanation of it, anyway... I guess once this album materialises the listener can take whatever meaning they give to it. For now there's this tune: an economically melodic but minimalist instrumental with a meaning.
So I find myself revisiting an abandoned project to try and save it, track by track. This one's the first I've done. I shall continue to do so at a leisurely pace.
I never meant to just abandon the entire project, I genuinely meant to come back to it and now felt like the right time. The reason it was put on hold in the first place is for two reasons, really:
1. I was also writing and recording material for another album at the same time and I felt more inclined to the vibe of the other one. So I finished said album and carried on like that for a while, sort of forgetting about it at the same time.
2. I didn't feel confident enough to take on a project of that nature at the time.
Anyway, more to come from this, I'm sure. This album will be finished at some point.